How can you re-learn how to trust after infidelity? You must be feeling betrayed and intensely hurt by your partners cheating. Your spouse has come clean and opened up to cheating and you have both chosen to rekindle your relationship. This is certainly a significant start however, where on earth do you go from here? Can you simply forgive and forget?
You need to be conscious of the very typical misconceptions on how to trust again after infidelity. This can stop you from falling into the very same trap that many have fallen into and ending up frustrated and also heartbroken when everything doesnt work out.
How to trust after infidelity Myth#1
You must make sense of the affair to help you trust again
Dont try to make sense out of nonsense. Trying to rationalize your cheating spouses behaviour or sympathizing with him/her is quite pointless. Dont bother blaming yourself either. Its not your fault. The bottom line is, it never okay to have an affair to solve problems that exist in your marital relationship.
How to trust after infidelity Myth#2
Trust you spouse if he/she is sorry and has promised not to cheat again
Remember the old adage actions speak louder than words. Its not enough for your spouse to say sorry and promise not to cheat again. They must cut contact with the other person completely. This is the only ay to heal your relationship and start trusting again. You cant work on dealing with the consequences of the affair while youre still having it.
Is time a great healer? My thinking is that time repairs very little. It is actually just what you achieve with that time that makes a difference. Never allow time to pass by and expect that the pain and hurt will go away. Start working on your relationship. Small steps like taking time to talk to your spouse everyday will go a long way in helping you rebuild trust and rekindle your marriage.